Sweetness and Light
I know this is completely opposite of the previous post, but hey, it happens. Maybe it’s hormones, maybe I’m just coming back to reality. Either way, it sucks.
I had the unfortunate epiphany this afternoon as I was helping the Geek Squad set up Mom’s computer that I was going to have to be a real person in May. Granted, I already realized that and have put things in motion for finding a job, paying insurance, etc., but I just had this moment when it hit me in the face. Maybe it was seeing the concert last night and seeing people going out and, pardon the cliche, living their dreams.
I must defend myself from that statement before I go on. I realize that I sounded extremely Romantic, and I concede that that sort of life has its problems. But as I look at my life and my possibilities, my opportunities, and how things are already going, it’s like looking at something that’s gradually fading to black/white, with more black than anything else.
I’m a creative soul. I’m happiest when I’m writing. I hate being boxed in a cubicle and forced to spend entire days or weeks without one creative thought. It’s like going without food or friendship or whatever thing that makes life worth it. I’m not looking forward to being a material contributor to society. Society, whether it wants to admit it or not, depends on the artists to keep it sane, to push it forward, to give it life.
I have so much to give…
2 years ago • Notes